Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Latest of My Many Public Humiliations...

So we were in Manama, Bahrain. There were four of us who decided to find a nice restaurant for our evening repast. Hani, Lynn, Chanda and me. We found a very nice asian-fusion place, Monsoon. The decor was like a Buddhist temple in Kyoto, the atmosphere convivial, the bill of fare sublime. Four good friends out for a nice evening.

Somehow (and I'm sure Hani will provide the details in a following comment) the subject of how many pushups we could do came up. This was strictly limited to the two guys, mind you. Anyway, the number 80 came up. For whatever reasons the challenge was laid bare. As we negotiated our appetizers I kept bringing it up. But, good taste would dictate we defer until a more appropriate time and venue.

Sadly, I've never been burdened with what society calls "good taste." I wouldn't shut up. Finally, just as the entrees arrived, the challenge was accepted. Out to the alley we went, like two bulls seeking dominance over the herd. Since I was the dumbass who couldn't keep his fool mouth shut I went first. I'm proud to say I did indeed knock out the aforementioned 80. Those last ten were tough, but the number lay in front of me like a finish line.

Upon standing up I noticed Chanda across the street videoing the thing. Then Hani drops down and proceeds to knock out 90! Curses! Foiled again!


To rub it in he said he could have gone for 30 more. Braggart! Turns out he's the three time defending champion of some kind of student athlete thing at University of Cairo.

Naturally I tried to milk the crowd for sympathy, being as how I was spotting the lad 31 years (Hey, at least I won my age group). He was giving me no satisfaction. In fact, at one point he told me a real man would accept the results with dignity and grace. Well, that's BS as far as I'm concerned. I have no use for dignity earned in a Bahraini back alley. Or anywhere else for that matter. I have no dignity and I've NEVER been graceful. Or gracious for that matter.

It was merely a way to celebrate Festivus. Feats of Strength. Next time I'll be content with "The Airing of Grievances."

Monday, November 20, 2006

Along the Road to Ithaca

While on the trip one of my friends, Lynn, picked up Paulo Coelho's book "The Zahir." A day or so later she tells me there was a poem in the Forward that reminded her of me. Huh? Turns out it was Cavafy's "Ithaca." Sharped eyed readers of this blog will recognize it from my post of 16 October 2005.

I told her I have a book of Cavafy's poems, which I bought in American University of Cairo's bookstore. Hani (of Hani's blog) reps for AUC and was on this trip too.

But, it gets better. The next day I'm getting off the elevator. Another of our group was there. We chit-chatted for a moment, about what I forget. As I was walking down the hall toward my room I tossed off one of my usual lines, "Just another stop along the road to Ithaca."

"What did you say?" she cried.

"What?"

"What did you say about Ithaca?"

"Oh, it''s just something I say from this poem."

"That poem is the inspiration for my life," she said. "How is it you know Ithaca?"

Kharma? Maybe.

If so there was one more little bit left.

In Nice I ran into my good friend Eva. You remember her. She's the one who Sharon Stone almost is good looking enough to look like. (Is that convoluted enough? You get my point.) Eva was the person who introduced "Ithaca" to me. And I completed the circle then and there (sort of) by introducing her to Lynn.

Just another stop along the road to Ithaca...

Good News, Bad News

Good News: I woke up the morning of November 17th in Nice, France.
Bad News: I had to leave.
Good News: Quickly got a taxi for the short (five, maybe eight, minutes tops)ride to the airport.
Bad News: She (the driver) boned me for 30 Euros (almost $40!)
Good News: Easy connecting flight to Paris' Charles De Gaulle airport.
Bad News: Charles De Gaulle airport is the biggest pain-in-the-ass airport in the world (in keeping with the tradition of Chuck De Gaulle his own self)
Good News: I had plenty of time to catch my flight to Cincinnati
Bad News: The security lines were incredibly long and slow (I counted 42 security cameras at my gate alone)
Good News: An Air France employee told me I had a Business Class ticket. Could this possibly be true? Suddenly visions of actually being comfortable for a nine hour flight danced in my head. (Of course, she was rude, but that goes without saying.)
Bad News: And she was wrong.
Good News: But, it was an emergency row seat. Leg room!!
Bad News: It was right (and I mean RIGHT) by the toilets.
Good News: I had two books to read.
Bad News: No way would it be possible to sleep (They shouldn't feed people on planes. It only encourages their bowels.)
Good News: I read both books on the Paris to Cinci hop. "The Zahir" by Paulo Coelho and "The Bhagavad Gita."
Bad News: The Air France "meal" gave me the runs. Hence the toilets.
Good News: We landed in Cinci, I got my luggage (which had to then be checked through US security) and cleared customs in a snap.
Bad News: The Security luggage check took over an hour.
Good News: Delta (Air France partner) gave me a $7 Starbucks coupon for my troubles.
Bad News: I still had a three plus hour drive to Athens.
Good News: Got my car and headed out.
Bad News: Couldn't keep my eyes open. If Rte. 32 ever had any traffic I would have had a wreck.
Good News: I stopped at a road side rest for a 45 minute nap.
Bad News: The Hershey squirts woke me up.
Good News: Made it to Athens and went straight to bed.
Bad News: The trip was over.
Good News: I'm ready to go again.
Bad News: It's 5:30AM and I've been up for three hours.
Good News: No more runs.

Out.

Last Night of My latest Journey


A bit of an anticlimax. Some of my group from the tour attended an international education conference in Nice, France. We, along with a few others, had one last meal together before going our separate ways. This panorama (taken with my new toy) shows all but two who were at the table(well, three counting me). Among those shown are people whom I care for deeply, people I truly enjoy being with, people I barely know, and people I don't know at all. It's only important to me and to them who is who.

I had the Steak Tartar.

Monday, November 06, 2006

On To Kuwait

So we flew into Kuwait City around, I don't know, 8:30 or Nine last night. Two hour flight from Amman. The frickin' visas, which you buy at the airport, took three hours due to the "efficiency" of their system. One of our troop, an American female but of Iraqi birth, had her passport held up for "security reasons." I stayed behind to help as best I could (which was basically just standing there being worthless). The others went on ahead to the hotel. But, as luck would have it she got the visa and we actually caught up to them before they left the airport. That was because the hotel sent a minivan to pick up 20 people with luggage. These buttheads do this every time. No matter how hard you try to convey to them how many there are of us they just say "certainly, sir. No problem," and send the dinky van. (Knowledgeable travelers will correctly guess the geographical origin of most hotel management personnel in the Middle East)

So after valiantly trying to cram 30 large suitcases and 20 people into a van built for eight, we sent the bulk on their way.(They coughed up another minibus which helped) Mark Schroeder of U. of Toledo and I stayed back with the luggage that couldn't be crammed aboard. I was figuring a two hour turn-around before the van made it back to pick us up. But, as luck would have it, the hotel folks magically produced a new leather-seated Volvo for us. In a matter of minutes we were at the hotel being treated like royalty. We were amazed that, even though the others only had about a ten minute head start on us, they were completely checked in and gone to their rooms. Ah, but not so. It seems their bus broke down on the way. And the Last Shall be First!

So by midnight we were safely ensconced. This morning made up for it as we had a little leisure pool time by the Gulf Coast.

How sweet it is.

Hot New Band Outta Dallas...


Yeah, I know it's wrong, but still...

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Perks of this Life...

So we got back to the Amman Sheraton a little after seven PM. I was too lazy to get up early this morning, so I ran to the gym for a short workout. I guess the climb to the Monastery didn't count!

Afterwards I wandered down to the lobby and found my friend's Joseph and Didier having a conversation with the hotel manager, Ms. Maysoun El-Kayyali, an absolutely fascinating lady. And NOT just because she treated us to a sushi dinner and drinks!

Ms. Kayyali puts in WAAAY too many hours at her job, but always makes us welcome. I offered to work for her as her executive assistant, which is the closest I've come to considering actual work in almost two years.

I meet some pretty nice folks in my journeys, but Maysoun ranks right up there with the best. Wonder what kind of visa I'd need to work in Jordan?

Petra...Again

We're in Jordan, leaving tomorrow for Kuwait. Today 15 of us took a bus to Petra, the ancient Nabatean city built around 200 BC or so. I was there last spring, so I'll try not to show the same pictures. This time we had a guide which added to my understanding of the place. For example, the fabulous "temple" known as the Treasury, the one featured in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, actually was NOT a treasury, but a funerarium, a place of burial. People of later years believed the carved urn above the entrance contained valuables and shot at it to get at the loot, which didn't exist. It's still a "Wow" moment when you first spy it as you come through the crack in the mountains known as the "Siq."

The town outside Petra is called "Wadi Mussa." A Wadi is a river valley. Mussa is Moses. Moses, the one of 40 years lost in the desert, was here. This was where the spring he drank from stands.

As we came into Wadi Mussa we stopped for a photo op. Way off in the distance, at the top of the highest point seen to the left of the picture is a mosque erected in honor of Aaron, Moses' little bro. This place is neck deep in history.

Last time I was in Petra I didn't make it the full distance to the end of the city. This time I was determined. There is a Monastery high on one of the mountains. From nearby you can look into Israel. Our guide was certain I couldn't get to the Monastery and make it back to the bus in time because it is a long, hard climb from the valley to the top. That was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Hey, after all, he didn't know he was talking to a guy who had hammered the Inca Trail to Macchu Picchu AND Adam's Peak in Sri Lanka within the last year. Six of us flattened that little rise, spent half an hour taking in the sights and made it to the bus with ten minutes to spare.

Israel in the distance

The Monastery


There were some pretty spectacular views up there in those mountains

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Getaway Day


At the Gate
Cinci to Paris to Amman, Jordan. Eight PM flight. I'll meet many of our tour group in Paris (Charles DeGaulle) tomorrow morning.

I love international travel. I love travel in general. You know that if you've paid any attention at all to this blog. But, Getaway Day is a pain to me. All the waiting. You spend the whole day clock watching. "So many hours until I leave for the airport. So much time to get my workout in (I ran eight miles this morning, the last under seven minutes, a rarity any more), so much time to shower and shave, eat, finish packing, gas up." LEt me just get going. Once I clear security I'm happy.

I got to CVG around five PM, so lots of time. Looking forward to seeing my friends again. Sad to leave Saps. She always knows when I'm not just running to the store. How many more trips does she have to say goodbye? She's at my parent's. They'll spoil her. She deserves it. She's a good dog.

Now for some chow, a look at the bookstore (Borders, nothing jumped out at me. I've already got five or six books in my pack. I stopped to get gas and finished my latest Flashman, "The Mountain of Light," before arriving. Had to stop at a gas station for a half hour to finish the final 30 pages. Didn't want to take it nor leave it unfinished.), and for my favorite activity, people watching.

Dinner of choice appears to be Sbarro's Pizza topped off with a large Starbuck's Chai Tea Latte. This time tomorrow (more or less) I'll be dining on Jordanian Schwarma. Hot cha!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Flip Side of Political Correctness

So now we have renowned drug addict and flaming asshole Rush Limbaugh making fun of Michael J. Fox' Parkinson symptoms. All for the purpose of countering Fox' plea for stem cell research, which could prove useful in the cure and treatment of Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and other diseases. The point is not that stem cell research will or will not turn out to be the cure. That is the point of doing research.

People like Limbaugh decry what they call "Political Correctness." What some would take for good breeding Limbaugh and his right-wing ilk despise. Why? Because they feel it is their RIGHT to denigrate those who are not like them. Pity the poor boors. It pains them not to be able to openly drop N-bombs, label queers, fags, Kikes, Micks, Spics, Hebes, Slopes, Gooks, Nips, etc. etc. ad nauseum. At least without a wink and a leer. Always with a disparaging remark about being "PC."

So Limbaugh feels taking shots at someone's disease is fair game. You know, Rush would have fit right in with the Third Reich crowd.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

My Response (This is so much more fun than actually working!)

Dear Mrs. Wang Chung,

Thank you for your epistle. I am sure I would be a great misrespresentative for your company. I come from a family of rag merchants and feel I am highly qualified to fill your position.

Here are my contacts ifirmation as requested:


> [FULL NAMES]: Shitz A. McGuffney
> [FULL MAILING ADDRESs]: 69 Upyerass Avenue (Opp. police barracks)
> [COUNTRY]: Untied States of Amerika
> [REGION]: Furburger
> [STATE/PROVINCE]: Iowa
> [AGE]: 72
> [SEX]: Not for some time now
> [MARITAL STATUS]: polygamous
> [OCCUPATION]: Sales misrepresentative
> [CURRENT EMAIL]: lagiwekim@yahoo.com
> [TEL/FAX]: (608) 334 7734/ (608) 334 7733

A New Scam Approach

I got this one this morning. Interesting. They're looking for someone "trustwothy." Hey, that's me all over. Besides, they're offering 11:5% commission! AND they're illiterate. How hard can this be? Like taking candy from a baby. I think I'll answer and see what happens. By the way, there actually IS a Wujiang Wanlida Textile co., Ltd. Here's the letter:

Hello

How are you doing, I am Mrs.Wang Ceng,md/ceo wujiang wanlinda textileco;ltd.i am involved in the manufacture and exportation of textile materials to europe,canada,america and some part of the Middle East.

I really need representatives in these regions/provinces for my business to suceed as it is,and that is the reason why i am contacting you now.

Because I am looking for a man/woman who is trustworthy to be in charge of receiving cash on my company's behalf in his/her country.if you know you are not trustwothy please do not bother to reply at all because there is a lot of money is involved here,all I am asking you is if you would like to earn. For the first 60days Reps will receive 11.5% commission on every transaction processeds.
After the 60day trial period, commission will increase to 20:5% from any amount you help us collect from our customers.

Things were not as difficult as this for us exporters in the east because checks from these countries never took any time before they cleared in our territory but now it takes weeks and this slows down production for us.some of these customers even send checks that will not clear eventually at the end of the day and this creates more financial problems for us eastern businesswomen/men.

The best part of this job offer is that you do not have to leave your present place of employment because it is on a part-time basis.You can ask any question concerning the areas where you are not clear and I
assure you that I will answer them to the best of my knowledge.




Please if you are interested to work with us in good faith and honesty, Contact MRS WANG CENG of this company Through this email address below:And also forward your contacts iformation list up below:
wanlindatextilecompany4@yahoo.com.cn

[FULL NAMES]
[FULL MAILING ADDRESs]
[COUNTRY]
[REGION]
[STATE/PROVINCE]
[AGE]
[SEX]
[MARITAL STATUS]
[OCCUPATION]
[CURRENT EMAIL]
[TEL/FAX]
Kindest Regards
Mrs Wang Ceng.
MD/CEO
WUJIANG WANLINDA TEXTILES

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A Sad State of Affairs...

It's been four days since I've heard from my Nigerian scammer. He must be on to me.
What do you suppose it was that tipped him off, my calling him "Dumbass," the rumination about the heated seats and my case of 'Roids, or the bit about the British pounds?

It's a shame. I had a whole scenario worked out to string him along, murder, mayhem and mystery. Ah, you can't find decent scammers anymore! Back in the old days any response would have these guys salivating all over you.

What's the world coming to?

Off topic, I see where a 14 year old girl was given the third degree by the Feds for saying Bush was an idiot on her MySpace page. It's just like in the Soviet days when you could go to prison for revealing a State secret. Not much of a secret, I'd say.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

BMW scam update

It didn't take long for them to reply to my answer. Here is their latest posting:

Reference Number BMW:2551256003/23

Dear Shitz A. McGuffney,

How are you doing today? I am in receipt of your mail
and i must say that you should count yourself
extremely lucky to have emerged as one of our winners
in this years 2006 BMW LOTTERY PROMO. As you already
know your email address was randomly selected along
with others from a database of over 250,000 (Hey, the first Email said 50,000!)email
addresses drawn from all the continents of the world.
Each email address was attached to a ticket number.
Your email address (Lagiwekim@yahoo.com) with
Reference Number BMW:2551256003/23 was selected along
with others as winners of a cash prize of £450,000.00
(four hundred and fifty thousand Great British Pounds)
and a brand new BMW 5 Series Car
A certificate of prize claims and some vital documents
will be sent along side your winnings cheque and brand
new BMW car.

VISUAL DISPATCH DELIVERIES has been contracted as your
delivery agent to send your winnings safely to you.
Contact their delivery Agent with the contact
information below for further instructions on how to
send your winnings to you.

DELIVERY AGENT.
Mr Victor Bloom
E-MAIL: visualdispatchdelivery@hotmail.com

Its is imperative that you add your Reference Number
BMW:2551256003/23 as the subject of any correspondence
with the courier company to ensure they respond in a
timely manner.
I will require a concise update on the proceedings
with the firm as soon as you are in contact with them.

Regards.
Dunace clem
FIDUCIARY AGENT

OK, here is my response. Notice I haven't contacted them in the way they suggest. they'll get around to pushing me for that soon. Maybe we'll get to the point when they ask for money. (Oh, and by the way, the Fax number I sent in earlier is an actual number belonging to a friend of mine. Wanna bet he gets some interesting faxes?)

Dear Mr. Dumbass Clem,

It's very nice to hear from you. Since I'm from
Amerika I'm not sure how much four hundred and fifty
thousand British pounds weigh. Is it a lot? I mean
if I figure right in this country that would be 225
tons. But, 225 tons of what?

Also, could you tell me a little more about the 2006
BMW 5 Series car. What options are on it? Does it
have heated driver's seats? That would be very
important to me, because I have an acute case of
sub-clinical hemorrhoids. A warm seat is a must for
me, expecially here in the north where it is getting
pretty cold these days.

I'd like one of those Tom Tom's on it too.

Let me know what I have to do.

Your fiend,

Shitz A. McGuffney


Any apparent misspellings or mispronunciations are entirely intentional.

This Should Be an Interesting Drama...

So, I get this E-mail this morning from someone informing me I've won some kind of lottery. I get a 2006 BMW and 450,000 British pounds.

It's obviously another Nigerian scam. But, I can't resist toying with these idiots. So I filled out their little questionnaire and sent it back. They weren't long in replying. I'll copy the back and forth exchange for your pleasure until I get tired of it.

Here's the opening shot and my initial response:

--- AWARD 2006 wrote:

> �BMW MOTOR NOTIFICATION
> BMW COMPANY UK�.
> An Affiliate of Bmw Uk.
> 28 TANFIELD ROAD,
> LONDON, UK.
> Sir/Madam,
>
> We are pleased to inform you of the release, of the
> long awaited results of the BMW CAR
> INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM held on the 14TH
> october, 2006.You were entered
> as dependent clients with: Reference Number
> BMW:2551256003/23 and Secret pin code
> x7pwyz2006 and. Your email address attached to the
> ticket number: 2752246896 that drew
> the lucky winning number, which consequently won the
> sweepstake in the first category,in
> four parts. You have been approved for a payment of
> �450,000.00 (four hundred and fifty thousand Great
> British Pounds) and a brand new BMW
> 5 Series Car credited to file reference number:I
> BMW:2551256003/23. This is from a total cash
> prize of Ten million pounds shared among all our
> international winners in all categories.
>
> CONGRATULATION!!!!!!
> All participants were selected through a computer
> ballot system drawn from 50,000 (Fifty
> thousand) names of email users around the world, as
> part of our international promotion
> program. Due to mixed up of some names and
> addresses, we ask that you keep this award
> personal, till your claims has been processed and
> your funds remitted to you.This is a part
> of our security measures to avoid double claiming or
> unwarranted participants or
> imposters, taking advantage of the situation. You
> are to contact your/our-accredited agent
> for your claim now.
>
>
*************************************************************
> Mr. Dunace Clem
> BMW CLAIMING SECURITY AGENCY.
> Email: dunaceclem012@hotmail.com
>
*************************************************************
>
> He is your agent, and he is responsible for the
> processing and transfer of your winnings to
> you. YOUR SECURITY FILE NUMBER IS BMW:2551256003/23.
> (keep personal) Remember, your
> winning must be claimed on time (AT LEAST 1-2weeks)
> . Failure to claim your prizes
> would result to forfeiting and will be used for the
> next 10,000,000 pounds
> international lottery program. Furthermore, should
> there be any change in your contact
> address, do inform your claims agent as soon as
> possible.You are also advised to provide
> him with the under listed information as soon as
> possible:
>
> 1.Name in
> full-----------Mr. Shitz A. McGuffney
> 2.Address------22 Skidoo Avenue, East Jesus,
Nebraska

3. Nationality---Egyptian----------------
> 4.Age------------69--------------------------
> 5.Occupation----Proctologist------------
> 6.Phone/Fax-----Tel: (617) 923 6646
Fax (617) 923-6025-------
>
> 7.Present
> Country---------America-----------------
> 8.Short comment on our
> products.
> [optional]------I'm happier than a pig in
shit!---------------
> 9.Male/female------sure---------------------
> 10.Fax
> [optional]----------------------------------------
> 11,Annual
> Income------------$153,789--------
> Once again congratulations.
>
> Yours Sincerely,
> (MRS.) JULIAN ROY (Program Co-ordinator.)
> Have Fun,
> The BMW AUTOMOBILE CO.LIMITED� Team

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Jason Combs IS David Puddy!!!



I discovered this closely kept secret while watching yet another Seinfeld rerun. Jason is actually Patrick Warburton (aka David Puddy). Especially since Jason got that corporate "adult" haircut.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Revolt in the Desert


I'm reading T. E. Lawrence's account of his WWI campaign in the Middle East. Not only was that guy among the toughest men I ever heard of he was a damn good (even great) writer. In the midst of all those battles and other trials he must have kept a ton of notes.

Also cool when he mentions places I have been.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Keith Olbermann Does it Again!

Heard Keith Thursday night on his show. The text of his commentary is below. Here is a MAN who is a voice in the wilderness. From a wise-cracking, smart-ass sports reporter on ESPN Keith has developed into the conscience of the true patriots of this experiment called America. (Would that the Democrats had a leader of his stripe.)

To wit:

"While the leadership in Congress has self-destructed over the revelations of an unmatched, and unrelieved, march through a cesspool ...

While the leadership inside the White House has self-destructed over the revelations of a book with a glowing red cover ...

The president of the United States — unbowed, undeterred and unconnected to reality — has continued his extraordinary trek through our country rooting out the enemies of freedom: the Democrats.

Yesterday at a fundraiser for an Arizona congressman, Mr. Bush claimed, quote, “177 of the opposition party said, ‘You know, we don’t think we ought to be listening to the conversations of terrorists.’”

The hell they did.

One hundred seventy-seven Democrats opposed the president’s seizure of another part of the Constitution.

Not even the White House press office could actually name a single Democrat who had ever said the government shouldn’t be listening to the conversations of terrorists.

President Bush hears what he wants.

Tuesday, at another fundraiser in California, he had said, “Democrats take a law enforcement approach to terrorism. That means America will wait until we’re attacked again before we respond.”

Mr. Bush fabricated that, too.

And evidently he has begun to fancy himself as a mind reader.

“If you listen closely to some of the leaders of the Democratic Party,” the president said at another fundraiser Monday in Nevada, “it sounds like they think the best way to protect the American people is — wait until we’re attacked again.”

The president doesn’t just hear what he wants.

He hears things that only he can hear.

It defies belief that this president and his administration could continue to find new unexplored political gutters into which they could wallow.

Yet they do.

It is startling enough that such things could be said out loud by any president of this nation.

Rhetorically, it is about an inch short of Mr. Bush accusing Democratic leaders, Democrats, the majority of Americans who disagree with his policies of treason.

But it is the context that truly makes the head spin.

Just 25 days ago, on the fifth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, this same man spoke to this nation and insisted, “We must put aside our differences and work together to meet the test that history has given us.”

Mr. Bush, this is a test you have already failed.

If your commitment to “put aside differences and work together” is replaced in the span of just three weeks by claiming your political opponents prefer to wait to see this country attacked again, and by spewing fabrications about what they’ve said, then the questions your critics need to be asking are no longer about your policies.

They are, instead, solemn and even terrible questions, about your fitness to fulfill the responsibilities of your office.

No Democrat, sir, has ever said anything approaching the suggestion that the best means of self-defense is to “wait until we’re attacked again.”

No critic, no commentator, no reluctant Republican in the Senate has ever said anything that any responsible person could even have exaggerated into the slander you spoke in Nevada on Monday night, nor the slander you spoke in California on Tuesday, nor the slander you spoke in Arizona on Wednesday ... nor whatever is next.

You have dishonored your party, sir; you have dishonored your supporters; you have dishonored yourself.

But tonight the stark question we must face is — why?

Why has the ferocity of your venom against the Democrats now exceeded the ferocity of your venom against the terrorists?

Why have you chosen to go down in history as the president who made things up?

In less than one month you have gone from a flawed call to unity to this clarion call to hatred of Americans, by Americans.

If this is not simply the most shameless example of the rhetoric of political hackery, then it would have to be the cry of a leader crumbling under the weight of his own lies.

We have, of course, survived all manner of political hackery, of every shape, size and party. We will have to suffer it, for as long as the Republic stands.

But the premise of a president who comes across as a compulsive liar is nothing less than terrifying.

A president who since 9/11 will not listen, is not listening — and thanks to Bob Woodward’s most recent account — evidently has never listened.

A president who since 9/11 so hates or fears other Americans that he accuses them of advocating deliberate inaction in the face of the enemy.

A president who since 9/11 has savaged the very freedoms he claims to be protecting from attack — attack by terrorists, or by Democrats, or by both — it is now impossible to find a consistent thread of logic as to who Mr. Bush believes the enemy is.

But if we know one thing for certain about Mr. Bush, it is this: This president — in his bullying of the Senate last month and in his slandering of the Democrats this month — has shown us that he believes whoever the enemies are, they are hiding themselves inside a dangerous cloak called the Constitution of the United States of America.

How often do we find priceless truth in the unlikeliest of places?

I tonight quote not Jefferson nor Voltaire, but Cigar Aficionado Magazine.

On Sept. 11th, 2003, the editor of that publication interviewed General Tommy Franks, at that point, just retired from his post as commander-in-chief of U.S. Central Command — of Cent-Com.

And amid his quaint defenses of the then-nagging absence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, or the continuing freedom of Osama bin Laden, General Franks said some of the most profound words of this generation.

He spoke of “the worst thing that can happen” to this country:

First, quoting, a “massive casualty-producing event somewhere in the Western World — it may be in the United States of America.”

Then, the general continued, “the Western World, the free world, loses what it cherishes most, and that is freedom and liberty we’ve seen for a couple of hundred years, in this grand experiment that we call democracy.”

It was this super-patriotic warrior’s fear that we would lose that most cherished liberty, because of another attack, one — again quoting General Franks — “that causes our population to question our own Constitution and to begin to militarize our country in order to avoid a repeat of another mass-casualty-producing event. Which, in fact, then begins to potentially unravel the fabric of our Constitution.”

And here we are, the fabric of our Constitution being unraveled, anyway.

Habeus corpus neutered; the rights of self-defense now as malleable and impermanent as clay; a president stifling all critics by every means available and, when he runs out of those, by simply lying about what they said or felt.

And all this, even without the dreaded attack.

General Franks, like all of us, loves this country, and believes not just in its values, but in its continuity.

He has been trained to look for threats to that continuity from without.

He has, perhaps been as naïve as the rest of us, in failing to keep close enough vigil on the threats to that continuity from within.

Secretary of State Rice first cannot remember urgent cautionary meetings with counterterrorism officials before 9/11. Then within hours of this lie, her spokesman confirms the meetings in question. Then she dismisses those meetings as nothing new — yet insists she wanted the same cautions expressed to Secretaries Ashcroft and Rumsfeld.

Mr. Rumsfeld, meantime, has been unable to accept the most logical and simple influence of the most noble and neutral of advisers. He and his employer insist they rely on the “generals in the field.” But dozens of those generals have now come forward to say how their words, their experiences, have been ignored.

And, of course, inherent in the Pentagon’s war-making functions is the regulation of presidential war lust.

Enacting that regulation should include everything up to symbolically wrestling the Chief Executive to the floor.

Yet—and it is Pentagon transcripts that now tell us this—evidently Mr. Rumsfeld’s strongest check on Mr. Bush’s ambitions, was to get somebody to excise the phrase “Mission Accomplished” out of the infamous Air Force Carrier speech of May 1st, 2003, even while the same empty words hung on a banner over the President’s shoulder.

And the vice president is a chilling figure, still unable, it seems, to accept the conclusions of his own party’s leaders in the Senate, that the foundations of his public position, are made out of sand.

There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

But he still says so.

There was no link between Saddam Hussein and al Qaida.

But he still says so.

And thus, gripping firmly these figments of his own imagination, Mr. Cheney lives on, in defiance, and spreads—around him and before him—darkness, like some contagion of fear.

They are never wrong, and they never regret -- admirable in a French torch singer, cataclysmic in an American leader.

Thus, the sickening attempt to blame the Foley scandal on the negligence of others or “the Clinton era”—even though the Foley scandal began before the Lewinsky scandal.

Thus, last month’s enraged attacks on this administration’s predecessors, about Osama bin Laden—a projection of their own negligence in the immediate months before 9/11.

Thus, the terrifying attempt to hamstring the fundament of our freedom—the Constitution—a triumph for al Qaida, for which the terrorists could not hope to achieve with a hundred 9/11’s.

And thus, worst of all perhaps, these newest lies by President Bush about Democrats choosing to await another attack and not listen to the conversations of terrorists.

It is the terror and the guilt within your own heart, Mr. Bush, that you redirect at others who simply wish for you to temper your certainty with counsel.

It is the failure and the incompetence within your own memory, Mr. Bush, that leads you to demonize those who might merely quote to you the pleadings of Oliver Cromwell: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.”

It is not the Democrats whose inaction in the face of the enemy you fear, Sir.

It is your own—before 9/11 - and (and you alone know this), perhaps afterwards.

Mr. President, these new lies go to the heart of what it is that you truly wish to preserve.

It is not our freedom, nor our country—your actions against the Constitution give irrefutable proof of that.

You want to preserve a political party’s power. And obviously you’ll sell this country out, to do it.

These are lies about the Democrats -- piled atop lies about Iraq -- which were piled atop lies about your preparations for al Qaida.

To you, perhaps, they feel like the weight of a million centuries -- as crushing, as immovable.

They are not.

If you add more lies to them, you cannot free yourself, and us, from them.

But if you stop -- if you stop fabricating quotes, and building straw-men, and inspiring those around you to do the same -- you may yet liberate yourself and this nation.

Please, sir, do not throw this country’s principles away because your lies have made it such that you can no longer differentiate between the terrorists and the critics."
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15147009/

Friday, October 06, 2006

Good Morning Class. Here is Your Question for the Day:

How many cats can you own before you qualify as crazy?
I'm betting it'll be different for a man than a woman.

Mick is working up a regression equation.

Please have your answers submitted, typed, double-spaced, in triplicate NLT COB next Shrove Tuesday.

More Unbelieveable Crap


You may have seen this ad or TV commercials for something called The Center for Consumer Freedom at consumerfreedom.com.

Who is behind these? Turns out the Center for Consumer Freedom is a front group for tobacco, alcohol, and restaurant interests. They've been buying tony spots in popular publications (NYTimes, LA Times, Newsweek, Wash Post, etc.) promoting their dubious health messages under the guise of respectable journalism.

Here are just a handful of the groups they take to task:

CDC (US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
CSPI (Center for Science in the Public Interest)
Greenpeace
MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving)
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)
Ralph Nadar's group, Public Citizen
US Surgeon General

A look at ConsumerDeception.com reveals some of the companies backing this crapola are: Philip Morris (over $3 million in contributions to Consumer Freedom), Arby's, Burger King, Chi-Chi's, Coca Cola, Hard Rock Cafe, Outback Steakhouse, Tyson Foods, and Wendy's.

The guy behind all this is someone named Richard Berman, a Washington lobbyist.

So the obesity epidemic in this country is all hype, eh?

To reitierate, "If they were not sheep, they would not need to be shorn."

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Readers Write:

Anonymous said...

Mike, sorry to say, but I don't think you would recognize a lie if you came across one. I think maybe you've been touched by too many environmentalist whackos over the years. There was a show on a week or so ago..I was channel surfing and came across it on NGC (National Geographic) and it surprised me to learn that volcanic gases and ash which go into our atmosphere almost daily at varying rates actually cause a cooling effect because they block the sun's heat from being absorbed..they block light..so much so that an eruption over a hundred years ago in Greenland, I believe, caused temps in the eastern US to drop an average of 10 degrees for a whole season. The weather changed dramatically for about a year. Part of way God designed it, I think. Say did you ever check out the book I recommended a couple of months back, Darwin's Black Box, written by a real scientist with no agenda?
Didn't think so. Your mind sounds like its made up permanently. Oh well, His Word says someday all will know the TRUTH.

Mike
Athens, OH

I figured Mike might miss my response in the Comments section, so here it is:


Sorry Bub, I READ Behe's book. It was full of such irreducable crap I could barely stomach it. Behe's problem is he thinks if something is too complex for HIM God must have made it.

Q.E.D., my friend. Q. E. D.

As to "an eruption over a hundred years ago in Greenland." Well, technically you're close. In 1783 Benjamin Franklin postulated that volcanic dust from the Laki volcano in Iceland caused a 1 degree Celsius cooler than normal summer in the northern hemisphere. You're probably think of Krakatoa, which blew in 1883.

It is a kanard of the right to cite naturally occuring phenomena and give great credence to that and toally ignore man's effect.

Talk about minds being permanently made up. Have you read Collapse?

You ignore man's effect on his environment at not only your, but your children's and their children's peril.

Thu Oct 05, 06:04:28 PM PDT

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

We Regret Mike Will Not be Able to Take Any Questions...

He has checked himself into Rehab for his long-term addiction to life.

Hey, everyone else is checking into rehab. I haven't been caught doing anything illegal, unethical or fattening. But, give me some time. I'm sure I'll work something out.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

So, CNN has this IDIOT Senatror James Imhoff (Republican of Oklahoma, of course)...

claiming Global Warming is a hoax. It is no wonder we are so screwed.
This man is clearly DEEP into the pockets of big oil. His "scientific data" he cites are all from biased, pro-business sources.

These guys never hesitate to tell lie after lie after LIE! All to suit their own purposes.

Monday, October 02, 2006

I'm A Newfoundlander Born and Bred and I'll Be One til I Die...


Hey, it's a song by St. John's band "The Navigators." Was up there last week. I was there in 2003. Such a beautiful place. Newfoundland is the Canadian equivalent of West Virginia. Everybody tells Newfie jokes. But, the people (like Mountaineers) are very friendly, the salt(water) of the Earth. Our group was at Trapper John's bar getting Skreetched. I got a certificate and everything. Might want to pick up one of these coonskin caps. Rather dashing don't you think?

My buddy Eddie and I are considering buying a cabin on a bay up there. Would be a great place to watch the icebergs, get naked and howl at the moon (We would be there at seperate times, before you start jumping to conclusions. I like the guy, but not THAT way.) Could be a kayak heaven.


The harbour of Quidi Vidi (Pronounced Kiddie Viddie)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Some Books Read Lately

Guns, Germs and Steel
Collapse
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night (must read!)
The Town that Died (Munitions ship explodes in Halifax harbor, 1917. Wipes out the town)
Dying to Win (Suicide Terrorist reasons)
The Afghan Campaign (Historical fiction. Alexander the Great tries to subdue Afghanistan. Results no better than today's)

They Say Confession is Good for the Soul...

So I fell off the wagon up in Canada. Yep, that's right, I drank a few colas. It was bound to happen. I never had any illusions of staying off the stuff forever.

Sure, I had a few teas, frappuccinos, even the odd coffee. But, that kind of traveling is grueling. Sometimes you need a little more. So I broke down.

I hit the "Red Bull" pretty hard too. Some of my friends on the last trip to the Middle East were talking about the aftereffects of drinking three Red Bulls in one night. All I can say to them is..."Wimps!" I did it and never felt a thing.

I'm back on the Lipton's Citrus Green Tea now. That should clean me out pretty quick.

My body is a temple.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Caught Parts of Clinton's Interview with Fox Today

Intelligent. Clear. Thoughtful. Articulate.

Sigh! I miss that. You know, having a President who can form his own thoughts and express them.

Of course when you have a populace who drives Sock Puppet's approval ratings up because his Grand Oil Party friends manipulate the price of gas down, you get a guy who can't pronounce NUCLEAR!

"Nucular?" What the hell is that?

Saturday, September 23, 2006

This says it all

Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,
the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment
inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf wins?"


The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

.

Two Years...

Hard to believe.

I remember...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Look, No One Has Less Regard For President Sock Puppet Than I Do.

But, Venezuelan President Chavez' calling him the Devil was misplaced.

Everyone knows Cheney is the Devil.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Nancy Grace


I tell you that's one mean lookin' woman. Guess she's got her ass in a sling over a harassing interview she gave this lady. The lady killed herself after the interview.

Not good.

Happy Birthday Sophia Loren

She's 72 today. One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

More Video from Kayak Trip

OK, this will take a little time. One of the kayakers on my recent trip to British Columbia has their videos posted HERE on the web.

Check them all out, but especially the "Close Encounters" video. It's a little shaky (we were out in the water after all), but right at the end you can see the orca almost breach right by my kayak. The music makes it really work.

Thanks Graham and Katie for the great videos. (Due to the format I couldn't get it on Youtube.com)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

So I'm Watching This Commercial for "Cialis..."

And they say you should seek immediate medical treatment if you incur something called Priapism, an erection lasting four hours.

FOUR HOURS!!!!

I had that EVERY DAY when I was 16. Should I have had mom call a doctor?

Alright, I understand this about dogs...

Supposedly dogs have something on the order of 40,000 sensors in their noses. Humans only about 5,000. I get that. They have MUCH greater senses of smell than we do. It lets them understand their world better that way.

But, WHY WHY WHY WHY is it SOOOOOOO important for them to thoroughly smell where every other dog in the neighborhood has pissed?

This is what I spend half my time doing every day. Waiting for the "inspection" to be over.

SAVE THE EARTH!!!

It's the only planet with chocolate.

(Thanks BLC)

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

From the Bhagavad-Gita

In battle, in forests, at the precipice in the mountains
On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows,
In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame,
The good deeds a man has done before defend him.

Translated from the Sanskrit by J. Robert Oppenheimer

From "American Prometheus" by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin

Sunday, September 10, 2006

9-1-0

Tomorrow marks the fifth anniversary of the attacks by Islamic terrorists, a day which changed our lives immeasureably. But, today marks MY fifth anniversary.

Five years ago today (It was actually a Monday) I started my new career. After almost 20 years working in Health Care I completely switched tracks and took a position as an international student recruiter for a small, private college in western Pennsylvania. I could not have imagined how profound that job switch would turn out to be.

I've always thought it interesting to look back in five year increments. For me, there has always been a significant change along the way. A new job, a new house, a marriage, a kid, always something. Nothing in my life compares with the changes that have come way way these past five years.

Except for one big exception I wouldn't have it any other way.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Senate Finds NO Saddam:al-Qaida Link

How come I knew this all along?

How, as a country, do we allow ourselves to be swept along by these charlatans?

I Haven't Posted Anything in a While...

And THIS is the best I can do.

Monday, September 04, 2006

"Cheap" Gas


Look, I know the attention span of the American public is two nanoseconds. But, fer cryin' out loud! Think about this.

LAST year the Labor Day weekend was cited by the talking heads as one of the big reasons why gas was so high and likely to go higher. So what's different THIS year to make the prices start to drop so suddenly on the same weekend?

If you look far enough down this blog you'll see a picture from last year of a gas sign at $2.49 and I said it was like stealing it. Now here's $2.25.

Here's my take: LAST year there was no Congressional elections in the offing. LAST year the Republican controlled Senate and congress weren't in such danger of losing their majority. Funny how, not only are we seeing gas drop. But, also a ton of terrorist scares on planes and yesterday, the capture of the #2 Al-Qaeda in Iraq man. That guy's boss, Zarqawi, was a pimp. How big could this clown have been.

For the oil companies this drop is just seed money. They'll get it all back in spades over the big Thanksgiving and Christmas travel seasons. (As if they weren't raking it in now anyway.)

If you buy into "all is well with the economy" and forget the morass in Iraq, just keep putting 'em back in. Four bucks a gallon isn't that far away.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Watch This

Shades of Edward R. Murrow, this was Keith Olbermann's finest hour!


ADDENDUM:

Here is the text of Keith's commentary.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Warfare in the 21st Century

Want to get past the crap handed out by Rumsfield-Bush-Rove-Mass Media clique on what it is we are doing in Iraq and Afghanistan? Yeah, so do I.

Forget all the blabber they hand you. It's virtually all BS. You want to know about what we face? Check out this guy's blog.

The dude knows his stuff. Your assignment is to read the first 144 column inches of it.

Then report back to me. Ah, how I long for those halcyon days of the Soviet Bloc and Mutually Assured Destruction.

Out.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Black Swan



Sounds like something from Pirates of the Caribbean. But, it's not.

An actual black swan has taken up residence in the lake by my house. There are six other swans, all white. Since we've lived here there have always been at least two white swans. Some lady in the condos bought them for her viewing pleasure I'm told. Where these other four or the one black one came from I don't know. I think the white ones are mute swans. Every once in a while a trumpet swan would swing by for a few days. But this black one has me stumped.

The thing is, black swans appear to be native only to Australia. Check it out on Wikipedia.

So what's he/she doing here? That's a heck of a flight. If someone bought the thing and placed it here I find that unconscionable. How many times has Man screwed up the local ecology by introducing non-native species?

It seems to have paired up with the white swan in the pix.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Why I Love Google Earth...


The news broke about a small plane crash near Indianapolis this morning. Within two minutes I had this satellite photo of the pond the plane crashed into.

Technology and retirement: a deadly combination.

Check this out

I sold my first ever item on eBay this morning. I had a Fred Bear archery bow I bought WAAAAAAY back when I was an undergrad. It was for a PE class. For some reason I've carried this thing around for three and a half decades. I only used it for the class and the one time, in Ft. Sill, OK, I shot a rabid skunk with it.

Got $100.

Wonder what else around her I can unload? What d'ya think the dog would bring?

Kidding.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Somebody is watching you...

And that somebody is me. I signed up for this service at Statcounter.com that counts how many hits I get every day. Check the second table. Someone from IRAN checked my blog! Unbelieveable.

Well, whoever you are and whereever you're from, welcome to Mike's World. Even if you found it by accident.

Iran. What are the odds?

Moby-Dick: Done


Melville's tale of Ahab, the Pequod, the White Whale and madness. Quite the yarn. Mick loved it. I thought it was pretty good, but I'm not gaga over it.

I have "Collapse" by Jared Diamond, the sequel to "Guns, Germs and Steel" on deck. But, first I think I'll launch into "Flashman's Lady", the third in Fraser's series about my favorite poltroon.

Read on, McDuck.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

This Just In About Orcas


You want to know why I like Orcas?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Sell Your Cola Stocks


Today marks one week since my last Pepsi. I'm drinking Lipton's Green Tea like a mad man. Of course, I always drink (drank?) Pepsi like said mad man also. I'm not saying it will last. I've tried before without success.

Sure, I know the tea has caffeine and sugar. At least it doesn't have the carbonation (gas passing down 47%) and all the other bad stuff colas supposedly have.

AND green tea has anti-oxidants.

So does dark chocolate. Which is a whole 'nuther issue.

Any way you cut it I have fewer problems than John Mark Karr.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Done!


Finally finished reading "Guns, Germs, and Steel" by Pulitzer Prize winner Jared Diamond. It's the Appalachian Trail of books. Only ten percent of those who start out actually finish. Mick read it through, but Jason (a pretty devout reader) hasn't. It's an important book examining how the world managed to develop as it has. For example, why did Europeans "discover" then subsequently subdue the native populations in the Americas instead of vice versa?

Diamond's main conclusion was "that societies developed differently on different continents because of differences in continental environments, not in human biology." Basically, those with the lucky advantage of sufficient and the right kinds of natural resources who were situated in areas of an optimal level of competition with other peoples stood the best chance of developing technologies, languages, and resistance to diseases necessary to succeed.

Diamond has also written "Collapse" explaining how seemingly dominant societies fall apart. I'll tackle that soon.

But, first I have Moby Dick on deck and the third of the Flashman series. Ah, the workaday world.

Question of the Day

I've been wondering about this for a while:

Do any species other than H. Sapiens combine different foodstuffs to produce a particular taste?

Any primates out there making salsa?

More Pix From the Kayak Trip

Thanks and kudos to fellow camper Mike Funk who sent these along. Mike had a REALLY nice camera, which put mine to shame.





Monday, August 14, 2006

Just in from Our "I Can't Believe This S***!" Department:

They're saying on CNN President Sock Puppet is getting a boost in his approval ratings from the latest terror alert/threat/scare/scam in London. What! Why?

What did HE do!?!? This is nuts. There was a line from "The Magnificent Seven."

"If they were not sheep, they would not need to be shorn."

Pix From Our Campsite in Johnstone Strait, BC

Took Mick down to Columbia, SC for grad school over the weekend. Looks like he'll be OK. He called yesterday (Sunday) in a rage (What else is new?). The southern bible-belt crackers wouldn't sell him anything until after 1:30PM on Sunday. It's the law ONLY in his county. Has something to do with religion I'm sure. You know Baptists won't allow you to have sex while standing because it could lead to dancing?

But, I digress....

The view across the Sound on our first night. After the moon set I crawled out of the tent to view the stars. Not as awesome as my dream night outside Vinales, Cuba. But, pretty sweet nonetheless.

The morning view from my tent flap. How do I keep finding myself in these Hell holes?

The campsite from this rocky outcropping. When the tide was low we could walk out on it and look back towards camp. I think the tent in the foreground is mine.

Me with two of the guides, Steve and Dave. If you look closely you can see the "jewelry" Dave cut for us from the Bull Kelp. That Bull Kelp is something. Dave also cut a length of it to make a trumpet. Naturally, I gave it a blast or two. Maybe three.


More to come later.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Here We Go...(Terror Alert Opinion)

Not that I'm a suspicious person, BUT:

The terror alert comes two days AFTER Hawkish Joe Lieberman gets bounced from the Democrat nomination for his Senate seat in Connecticut. The Right has been in freefall in the polls over the morass in Iraq. Now they play the fear card.

They wouldn't do that would they? Why did Cheney come out bashing the Democrats as soft on security AFTER he and President Sock Puppet had been informed of the plot, but BEFORE we the people were notified. Politics at play.

They sell fear and we the people buy it. Was there a plot? Where are the perps? Why do we never see any actual evidence of all these plots, warnings, alerts, etc.?

Mick called it yesterday before any of this happened. He said to watch for some incident before the election to sway the sheep I mean voters. I raised a smart boy.

Kayaking among the Orcas. It was a Close One!

Had a fantastic voyage. We were guided by Spirit of the West outfitters. Camped along the shores of Johnstone Strait north of Campbell River, British Columbia. Four days, three nights.

So we had been out all day kayaking up the Strait and doing some hiking. Very peaceful. We hadn't seen any Orcas all day. It was our second day there. The first night we spotted a couple out in the middle of the Strait, but they were far away and it was getting onto dusk.

The guides were getting reports that a group was moving our way. Just before we made the take-out we saw some fins. There were several Orcas passing by the campsite way out in the water. It was a thrill, even though they weren't close.

Then here comes a few more right at us. It looked like they were going to come right through our group. But, apparently they spotted us and disappeared. A few moments later they re-appeared out in the middle far way from us. Again it was a thrill, but we hadn't gotten a REALLY close look at 'em yet.

Just as we were about to return to camp I spotted another small group again coming straight toward our little flotilla. Maybe this time they would hold course. I got my video running and caught them about 40 yards out. I was tracking them, trying to anticipate where they would come up again. I was guessing the left side of the kayak. They came up right.


Jennifer, in front of me, caught him as he broke the surface. If you look close enough (To the left of the paddle shaft) you can see his black and white colors.

Now THAT was the thrill! I was speechless. Another of our party caught just a bit of it on his video. When he sends it to me I'll post it.

That was the highlight, but everything else was great. I could have stayed out there for many more days.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Wind Down


No more rushing from place to place. We just chill with Jason's friends, Nick and Matt. The condo is awesome. We spend our time reading, swimming in the pool, lounging. Occasionally we taxi into Jaco for a change of pace.

But, within a day or so I start to get the itch to get moving. Even when Jan was alive our family could never do the "Lounge Vacation by the Shore" thing. Always had to be on the go.

On the third day I talked the guys into going somewhere. Anywhere. At 7:30 I dragged them out of bed. We rented a Kia SUV and headed out. Destination: Parque Manuel Antonio.

Along the way we drive detour off the main highway, seven kilometers up a rutted road to a Jungle Canopy place. The kind of deal where you can walk on bridges erected among the tree tops. Mick and I had done this last year. Great views of flora and fauna.

The parking area is empty, our first clue something was amiss. The boss-man gives us a bunch of attitude.

"Do you have reservations?" (How would one learn this was necessary?)
"We are closed today" (Again...)
"But we are having some VIPs this afternoon if you want to stay. Sixty-five dollars per person, you can go along. It includes lunch." (A blatant rip-ff, ala The Kramer Reality Tour on Seinfeld. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.)

We were back on the highway in minutes. There were some pretty ratty bridges to cross along the way. Scary.

Parque Manuel Antonio was advertised as a jungle setting complete with monkeys, sloths, etc. Mainly it was a tourist beach. We were immediately overrun by "guides" willing to point out said animals. No dice.


The place was beautiful. We hiked the trails, our last hike of the trip. The culmination was to this cliff overlooking the blue Pacifico.

On the way to the beach we passed a restaurant with a full sized C-123 cargo plane inside. El Avion. I had jumped from C-123s back in the day andwanted to check it out on our return. We decided to eat there. This was the occasion of one of the greatest things Mick ever said about me. Unwittingly.

I was demonstrating the jumpmaster technique of hanging out the paratroop door in preparation for the jump. Mick said, almost to himself, "That takes balls." But, I heard him! I don't think he even realized what he was saying. No one could EVER pay me a greater compliment. This trip was complete.

After the Storm

After a day of hanging around Liberia (just to make sure all was well) we headed for our final destination. Of this trip. Jaco, Costa Rica, where Jason's family has a condo. We would spend the last few days lounging around. Mick is anxious to return to the States. His brush with excruciating pain has given him a good scare. And a different perspective. Standing on his head in shit doesn't seem so bad when compared to the pain he felt.

(I read him this last line and he has a good laugh, agreeing. It makes me feel good to make him laugh.)

Happy Independence Day. I expect I'll never again "celebrate" the 4th with a backyard BBQ among family. Just hanging with Mick is celebration enough for me.

We checked out of the hotel early and walked to the bus station. The bus to Puntarenas wouldn't leave for two hours, so we walked the three blocks back to a newish food court near the hotel. Burger King, Ice & Hot (Whatever that is), Church's Chicken and Papa John's Pizza. Three blocks, two worlds. Here it was clean, air conditioned, orderly, neat, and quiet. Safe.

The bus station is dirty, noisy, chaotic (at first glance), spanish speaking. Not so safe.

In the food court we write and read unbothered.

We can read at the station, but always with a watchful eye. Mind your bag, watch who's behind you, be on guard.

The food court could be in South Kumquat, Connecticut or East Blandville, Ohio. The station, Kegalle, Sri Lanka or Managua, Nicaragua.

Given my druthers I'll take the stations every time. Here is life. People scratching out a living, buying cheap food, cheap sandals, cheap clothing, cheap transportation, living what many in the West consider cheap lives. You know it's true. Anyone care how many Iraqis have died in our war? Anyone care?

"Car bomb in Baghdad-Beirut-Darfur-Colombo-Mogodishu (pick one. Or more.) kills four." The CNN crawl marches by without pause.

Mick and I share our thoughts on this. Given the means wouldn't all those folks over at the station like the idea of fresh pizza in a clean, air conditioned environment?

I prefer the station because it is energetic, chaotic (Not really. There IS a system of sorts.) and alive. But, I also have the freedom to move between both worlds. Anytime I get tired of "slumming" or feeling insecure or whatever, all I have to do is produce a piece of plastic and I'm out. Most here and in two-thirds of the world can't do that. It's like I'm cheating.

Tourists say, "I want to see what the authentic natives experience." What is authentic? The "authentic natives" are selling Made-in-Nicaragua (or China) pottery and handicrafts to tourists. That stuff isn't used in any large way in native homes anymore. They use pots and pans like we do. There's little romanticism among natives for that old stuff. If Daniel Boon could have had Goretex and ultralight equipment, don't you think he would have used it?

Anyway...somehow we missed the 10:20AM bus. Either it never came or it drove away right under our noses. So we waited for the 11:30. Lots of time for more inner dialogue. Mick says I like the sound of my own voice. Of course! I've ALWAYS liked the sound of my voice. I think about lots of things, develop ideas and verbalize them. What's not to like?

But, I digress...So after a time Mick says, "Here comes Jesus." I look around and here comes this bearded, bare-foot cat in a red robe.

"Whaddya wanna bet he thinks he's a holy man," I muttered? Sure enough, a couple minutes later he launches into a bible wving spiel. It seems to have little effect and after awhile he shuts up.

We saw him drifting around the station, checking out the contents of a garbage can, testing the coin returns of several pay phones. Later he was walking along across the street.

Eventually our bus to Puntarenas arrived and we got on. It would be a two hour leg and the bus was crammed. Several passengers had to stand in the aisle. We got seats about halfway back. About ten minutes into the tide I look up and, Son-of-a-gun(!), here comes "Jesus" working his way toward the front of the bus. I never saw him get on.

He gets about three rows in front of us and launches into another sermon. Of course it was in Espanol, so I had no idea what he was saying.

The thing was, the guy's voice was BOOMING. There was no ignoring him. But, he's roaring along and no one is paying him the slightest bit of attention. Not even a wince as he blasted into the ears of those standing next to him. Not a roll of the eyes. Nothing. It was like he was invisible.

At one point he turned to face the back of the bus and was facing me. I tried to stare him down, to make him avert his gaze, but to no avail. You can't outstare a whack job.

When we came to his stop he filed past us. He said something I didn't catch. Later Mick said he called us brothers. "Adios, muchacho," I said. You meet all kinds out here on the road to Ithaca.

We got to Puntarenas right at 2:30. A guy on the bus said we'd be in plenty of time for the 3:00 to Jaco. As usual it took a couple minutes to get oriented. I took the opportunity to heed the call of nature. While passing the time facing the bano wall, the 2:30 bus for Jaco pulled out. Never fails.

The next (and FINAL) bus to Jaco left at 4:30. So we had a couple hours to kill. Every restaurant had the Germany-Italy World Cup semi-final on. So we got to see the Italians put the knife into the collective hearts of Germany fans in the final moments of overtime. The anguish on the faces of the German fans in the stadium evoked my own memories of the '92 Pittsburgh Pirate's loss to Atlanta (Where were You When Sid slid?) knocking them out of the World Series.

That's why I will never give my heart over again to a pro sports team. They'll almost always fail to win "The Big One," and the players wouldn't give you the time of day if you met them anyway. (Maybe that's a little harsh. When Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of the NFL champion Pittsburgh Steelers was sitting in front of me on a recent flight I'm pretty sure he would have given me the time if I had asked.)

Two hours later we hit Jaco. After grabbing a bite we took a cab to Los Suenos condominiums. After three weeks of chicken buses, hostels, casas particulares and generally low-end living, this was of another world. The word "Posh" came immediately to mind. Ridiculously posh for a Central American country. But there it was.

Fireworks were being shot off near the marina. Celebrating American independence in a foreign land.

Another day.