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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Monday, July 09, 2007

At Last The Truth Comes Out!

It's a scandal worse than Watergate. Finally my parents (who shall remain anonymous) let the proverbial cat out of the bag yesterday when they acknowledged that on July 9, 1975 Dad accidentally backed the car over "Lady," our long time pet Cocker Spaniel. "Lady" had been a member of the family (even though she was never actually allowed in the house) for many years and in her old age liked to sun herself out on the driveway. At the time I had recently been stationed in South Korea, so a cover-up was undertaken. As always the cover-up is worse than the actual crime itself! The details of "Lady's" last moments are still murky. But, suspicion has it our then neighbor, an Ohio Highway Patrolman, was recruited to apply the coup de grace.

Apparently the parents were leaving for the hospital to celebrate the birth of my niece and their first grandchild Jill.

So Happy Birthday Jill! Many happy returns.

I'm like Mr. Bojangles. "After thirty years he still grieves..."

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