About Me

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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

iPods and workouts

If people put as much effort, attention and time into their exercise routines as they do dicking around with the music they use to accompany said workouts they might actually get in a decent session.

Yeah, I know it's no skin off my nose. But  you're wasting your time.

Jack-Ass of the Week: June 21-28

Kind of a slow week for Jack-Asses. But the World Cup is big news and it gave us two contenders.

First we had Luis Suarez of team Uruguay biting another player. Seems to be a habit of his. Next there was Ann (Hey look at me! Look at me!) Coulter pulling her head out of the oat bag long enough to declare soccer a liberal conspiracy.

Sadly there's the case of Justin Ross Harris, the guy who left his two year old son locked in a hot car all day, causing the boy's death. That actually goes beyond Jack-assness in my mind. Therefore I'm not considering it among the contenders.

Finally, there's the supposed incident at a KFC in Mississippi where the staff asked a little girl who had been badly mauled by dogs to leave because her face was disturbing to the customers. While whomever may have made such a request would be the runaway winner, there appears to be some doubt it ever happened. If it turns out to be a hoax the girl's family snatches the win.

I'm inclined to think it was a hoax. But lacking solid evidence either way I'm torn between Suarez and Coulter.

Coulter is a Jack-ass of the first order any week, but we won't hear about Suarez much once the World Cup is over. So I'll go with giving Luis Suarez his fleeting moment in the sun.

Luis Suarez, your Jack-Ass of the week for June 21-28, 2014.

Godwin's Law: Using Hitler/Nazi References in an Argument or Debate

Saw a reference to Godwin's Law in a book I'm reading ("Robot Uprisings"). Below is the Wiki link. A fellow named Mike Godwin came up with it. The interesting thing is once you break out the Hitler/Nazi allusion you lose the argument. Good call.


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

We May Have a Contender for This Week's Jackass

The candidates are queuing up. Lots of politicians of course, alleged World Cup biters, etc. 
But this link raises an interesting possibility.

Stay tuned. It's only Tuesday.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

I'm Establishing a Jack-Ass of the Week Post

Our winner for the week of June 20 (and long-time returning champion) is Darth Cheney.

This piece of work wrote recently in the Wall Street Journal (and why did they give him a forum?) about President Obama, "rarely" has a president ever been "so wrong about so much at the expense of so many."

Can he be SERIOUS!? 

The gutless coward Dickless Cheney was largely responsible for sending 4,500 American sons and daughters, plus countless tens of thousands of Iraqis needlessly to their deaths, not to mention a trillion dollars blown.

He was wrong on everything he ever claimed. To wit 1.) Saddam has weapons of mass destruction, 2. We'll be greeted as liberators, 3. The insurgency is in it last throes. This last he said NINE YEARS ago.

If even Megyn Kelly of FAUX Noise has called him out on it isn't it time to pull his plug? You can take that literally or figuratively.

I generally wish Ill of no one. Some I have no use for, but this clown (it's hard not to let the expletives fly) has my utmost and well deserved contempt. 

Ladies and gentlemen, Dick Cheney. Your Jack-Ass of the week. Tough act to follow.

Car Alarms

Name one thing more irritating and more useless. No one wants your 2011 Toyota Corolla.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Tony Gwynn Died Today

Mick and I saw him score the winning run at the 1994 All Star game in old Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh. He was a tremendous hitter and seemed to be an affable guy.

Rest in peace Tony.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Yet Another Shooting

Another day, another headline. "Where will it end?" we say. 

It won't. In fact instead of a groundswell of support building to finally do something about our American predilection for shooting each other, the result is in fact more guns, fewer gun laws. Or even laws that promote coming to town strapped.

My hypothesis is these shootings actually produce more gun ownership. With every deadly incident the NRA, gun manufacturers and like-minded organizations issue the clarion call to its members "OBAMA IS COMING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS!! SEND MONEY SO WE CAN FIGHT!" (Never mind that in six years in office NO move has been made to take anyone's firearms)

Immediately frightened gun owners (funny they should be the ones frightened) empty their wallets to fund the gun lobbyists who own our politicians. What money is left goes to buying more firepower. After all doesn't everyone need Teflon coated bullets?

Polls consistently show the majority of Americans desire stricter gun control. The majority be damned. "We the people" only get what we pay for. And what we get are bought and paid politicos afraid of being seen as anti-gun.

As they say, Money talks and bullshit walks.

As I view it here is the crux of the issue. Sure, maybe most Americans, even many NRA members,  prefer some measure of increased control. But they're not passionate about it the way hard core gun owners are about having all manner of weaponry.

We wring our hands with every shooting. But in the interim our focus wavers. Your hard core, Faux News watching, gun toter is passionate about their weapons 24/7. And they put their money where their mouths are. Consequently our elected "statespersons" would rather stick their tongues into an electrical outlet than vote to curtail gun ownership.

What's the answer? I don't know, but I have an idea.

Social engineering. One reason smoking has decreased so much in this country is the increased taxes on smokes. Simple economics.

So I propose levying a Federal Excise Tax (FET) on all weapons and ammunition. No restrictions on ownership. You just have to pay for the privilege. Want to buy an AK-47? No sweat. At least a 100% FET and it's yours. Same for ammo too. In fact, the emphasis should be on bullets, since otherwise your AK is just a paperweight.

No politician has to be seen as anti-gun. No dancing around the issue. As I said "money talks, etc. etc."

Friday, June 06, 2014


Hillary Clinton won't be the next president. In fact, I don't believe she'll even be the next Democratic nominee.

Don't ask me "Who else is there?" This time eight years ago few people had heard of Barack Obama and if they had the idea of a guy like that becoming president sounded ludicrous.

I'm not judging or casting aspersions on her or anyone. What I will say is her upside is limited and her downside risk is too great. And her "Sell By" date expired in 2008. I'm just stating an opinion.

You heard it here first.

Monday, June 02, 2014


Let me begin by saying this is not a litany of complaints or a rant about how getting old sucks. I may do that another time. But: I've been thinking about aging lately. When you get to your 60s it's pretty inevitable. For me turning 50 was about the time it occurred to me I might not live forever. I'm still hoping an exception will be made in my case.

The first indication something was happening along those lines was in the 1994 Boston Marathon. A race I had reliably run for over ten years in the two hour, forty-five minute range (2:41-2:48 between 1981 and 1993) suddenly and without warning became impossible to complete within three hours. To most people that seems like a minor thing. After all it's not arthritis or senility (I already had that) striking you down. But to me it was a big deal. I anticipated in the coming years I would gradually slow down. But this, this was a veritable wall. The first shot across the bow of my mortality.

The ensuing twenty years and events have given me plenty of time to contemplate the thing. The physical as well as the mental aspects. In some ways it's interesting to observe from a dispassionate viewpoint, which I will try to do here.

Some things are subtle. For example I can't snap off the answers to Jeopardy questions as quickly as I once could. I know I can eventually retrieve many of the answers, but just can't quite find the trigger. Not that I'm a potential Ken Jennings, but I like to think I'd be a passable contestant. I could only compete now if I were up against people fifty and older.

Things like this lead me to anticipate future developments. I suppose at some point the process of things slowing down speeds up. Eventually the whole thing catches up with you and it's off to the big dirt nap.

Actually, we humans have only begun living this long within the past century. As it is its relatively uncharted territory. There's much I like about it and much I don't.  I'm quickly realizing this post could become unwieldy if I delve into everything I think about with regards to gettin' old. So I'll make a few observations and leave the rest for another day.

One thing I DON'T like is how things are skewed in favor of us geezers over young people in this country. Why should I get a movie discount just because I'm old? I understand the benefits of Social Security, but our young people are being buried in educational debt while I collect a paycheck each month. They are our most valuable resource and as a society we are creating wage slaves at a high long term cost. Don't get me wrong, I still accept the discounts and the money. I'm not an idiot.

Speaking of young people, the one thing I dislike intensely is the loss of relevancy. My cultural frame of reference is a product of the 60s and 70s. When my son and I talk sometimes I realize we are almost speaking different languages, our experiences are so different. Same as with my father and me. He is a product of the Great Depression. I more or less understand what makes him tick. (I'm thinking the Great Recession has pulled most of our generations closer in line) But the gap in useful knowledge is enormous.

Physically everything slows down. I work out hard and it pays tremendous dividends. I can do things people half my age are physically unable to do. But I can't do what I used to do. I don't like that.

Still I'm fortunate. I long ago established a habit of relatively intense chronic exercise. The benefits I'm receiving now give me far more return on investment than anything else I've ever done, mentally as well as physically. And I intend to wring every drop possible out of this body.

But let's face it, the purpose of any living organism is to pass on its genes. The more you study biology the more you see the ultimate truth in that. I did that and I don't intend to do it again, although for some odd reason evolution gives the male of our species the ability to fertilize far longer than it gives the female to be fertilized. Not sure why that is.

People say "You are only as old as you feel." I sort of understand that sentiment, but I'm still calling bullshit on it. I AM as old as I feel, but that age is 64. Numbers don't lie. My 64 may be different than your 64, but it's still there. 

All in all I'm not unhappy about it. At least I get an old age, or have so far. And it's a good one. My late wife, Jan, didn't get one. A lot of good and true men and women sacrificed theirs much too early on behalf of you and me. I like to think I'm living the life they didn't get.

I've rambled on enough about this. Call it a privilege of the age. Meanwhile keep your kids out of my yard.