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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Heard while flipping through the channels...

One of those Infomercials. The guy is pushing something that cleans out your colon. OK. "The Almighty Cleanse" He said over 50% of Americans DO NOT have a bowel movement at least once a day. No problem there for me.

Claims John Wayne had 40 pounds of shit in his intestines on autopsy and Elvis had 60. Sixty?! Anyone with that much crap hanging on is a control freak.

Sixty pounds...guess that's what made him the King. Should have spent more time on his throne.

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