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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I'm reading Paul Theroux's "Dark Star Safari"

It's about his journey from Cairo to Capetown. I've only read about 60 pages, but one thing he wrote struck me:
"I really did suspect that I might be headed to a dark place, and as with all long trips I fantasized that I might die there."

Sometimes, leading up to a long trip in which I'll be going out of my comfort zone I have similar feelings. Not that I will die, but more like dread or depression or despair. It's hard to explain.

I used to have the same feeling right before the starting gun of each Boston marathon. You're entering the unknown and we humans always fear the dark.

On my first big trip (in January '05) after Jan died I had the same feelings. Just outright dread. Maybe it's a combination of what will happen "out there" and what will happen "back at the house?" You have little control over either.

HAd a dose of it before the Sri Lankan trip and maybe a little on this Central American trip coming up.

Nonetheless, I will always go. The rewards far outweigh the risks. The trips are over so quickly and when I get back I wonder what the deal was.

I think many people wish they could travel like me, in the abstract, but hesitate to pull the trigger and go. I don't hesitate.

2 comments:

J.C. said...

You BETTER be scared! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!

Hani said...

I do get the "end of trip blues". Never before a trip though.