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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Latest of My Many Public Humiliations...

So we were in Manama, Bahrain. There were four of us who decided to find a nice restaurant for our evening repast. Hani, Lynn, Chanda and me. We found a very nice asian-fusion place, Monsoon. The decor was like a Buddhist temple in Kyoto, the atmosphere convivial, the bill of fare sublime. Four good friends out for a nice evening.

Somehow (and I'm sure Hani will provide the details in a following comment) the subject of how many pushups we could do came up. This was strictly limited to the two guys, mind you. Anyway, the number 80 came up. For whatever reasons the challenge was laid bare. As we negotiated our appetizers I kept bringing it up. But, good taste would dictate we defer until a more appropriate time and venue.

Sadly, I've never been burdened with what society calls "good taste." I wouldn't shut up. Finally, just as the entrees arrived, the challenge was accepted. Out to the alley we went, like two bulls seeking dominance over the herd. Since I was the dumbass who couldn't keep his fool mouth shut I went first. I'm proud to say I did indeed knock out the aforementioned 80. Those last ten were tough, but the number lay in front of me like a finish line.

Upon standing up I noticed Chanda across the street videoing the thing. Then Hani drops down and proceeds to knock out 90! Curses! Foiled again!

To rub it in he said he could have gone for 30 more. Braggart! Turns out he's the three time defending champion of some kind of student athlete thing at University of Cairo.

Naturally I tried to milk the crowd for sympathy, being as how I was spotting the lad 31 years (Hey, at least I won my age group). He was giving me no satisfaction. In fact, at one point he told me a real man would accept the results with dignity and grace. Well, that's BS as far as I'm concerned. I have no use for dignity earned in a Bahraini back alley. Or anywhere else for that matter. I have no dignity and I've NEVER been graceful. Or gracious for that matter.

It was merely a way to celebrate Festivus. Feats of Strength. Next time I'll be content with "The Airing of Grievances."


Hani said...

I don't actually remember how it started, but I do remember that you challenged :)

By the way, Ian was there too.

mike247worldwide said...

OK, four good friends and Ian. I'm sorry but I don't recall him there. Sorry Ian (if you ever read this).