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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Will I Live To Be 80?

I recently chose a new primary care physician.

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests (and the fickle finger of fate prostate exam), he said I was doing "fairly
well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do
you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?"

"No," I replied. "I don't do drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing,
hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot o f sex?"

"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

Then he looked at me and a sked,

"Then why do you give a shit?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha. There's always marbles!!!