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A man of many words. Profane, profound, loyal to a fault and a right rat bastard. I love the finer things in life: expensive cigars, cheap women and all the salted, cured meats I can eat. A friend to dogs, lover of humanity and despiser of people. If I were King the world would be a better place, because, well...I would be King! Oh, and I like ice cream.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

This Should Be an Interesting Drama...

So, I get this E-mail this morning from someone informing me I've won some kind of lottery. I get a 2006 BMW and 450,000 British pounds.

It's obviously another Nigerian scam. But, I can't resist toying with these idiots. So I filled out their little questionnaire and sent it back. They weren't long in replying. I'll copy the back and forth exchange for your pleasure until I get tired of it.

Here's the opening shot and my initial response:

--- AWARD 2006 wrote:

> �BMW MOTOR NOTIFICATION
> BMW COMPANY UK�.
> An Affiliate of Bmw Uk.
> 28 TANFIELD ROAD,
> LONDON, UK.
> Sir/Madam,
>
> We are pleased to inform you of the release, of the
> long awaited results of the BMW CAR
> INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM held on the 14TH
> october, 2006.You were entered
> as dependent clients with: Reference Number
> BMW:2551256003/23 and Secret pin code
> x7pwyz2006 and. Your email address attached to the
> ticket number: 2752246896 that drew
> the lucky winning number, which consequently won the
> sweepstake in the first category,in
> four parts. You have been approved for a payment of
> �450,000.00 (four hundred and fifty thousand Great
> British Pounds) and a brand new BMW
> 5 Series Car credited to file reference number:I
> BMW:2551256003/23. This is from a total cash
> prize of Ten million pounds shared among all our
> international winners in all categories.
>
> CONGRATULATION!!!!!!
> All participants were selected through a computer
> ballot system drawn from 50,000 (Fifty
> thousand) names of email users around the world, as
> part of our international promotion
> program. Due to mixed up of some names and
> addresses, we ask that you keep this award
> personal, till your claims has been processed and
> your funds remitted to you.This is a part
> of our security measures to avoid double claiming or
> unwarranted participants or
> imposters, taking advantage of the situation. You
> are to contact your/our-accredited agent
> for your claim now.
>
>
*************************************************************
> Mr. Dunace Clem
> BMW CLAIMING SECURITY AGENCY.
> Email: dunaceclem012@hotmail.com
>
*************************************************************
>
> He is your agent, and he is responsible for the
> processing and transfer of your winnings to
> you. YOUR SECURITY FILE NUMBER IS BMW:2551256003/23.
> (keep personal) Remember, your
> winning must be claimed on time (AT LEAST 1-2weeks)
> . Failure to claim your prizes
> would result to forfeiting and will be used for the
> next 10,000,000 pounds
> international lottery program. Furthermore, should
> there be any change in your contact
> address, do inform your claims agent as soon as
> possible.You are also advised to provide
> him with the under listed information as soon as
> possible:
>
> 1.Name in
> full-----------Mr. Shitz A. McGuffney
> 2.Address------22 Skidoo Avenue, East Jesus,
Nebraska

3. Nationality---Egyptian----------------
> 4.Age------------69--------------------------
> 5.Occupation----Proctologist------------
> 6.Phone/Fax-----Tel: (617) 923 6646
Fax (617) 923-6025-------
>
> 7.Present
> Country---------America-----------------
> 8.Short comment on our
> products.
> [optional]------I'm happier than a pig in
shit!---------------
> 9.Male/female------sure---------------------
> 10.Fax
> [optional]----------------------------------------
> 11,Annual
> Income------------$153,789--------
> Once again congratulations.
>
> Yours Sincerely,
> (MRS.) JULIAN ROY (Program Co-ordinator.)
> Have Fun,
> The BMW AUTOMOBILE CO.LIMITED� Team

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